Amazing quote

Propping herself up on one elbow, she said, "It's funny. When you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, 'I want to go home.' But then you come home, and of course it's not the same. You can't live with it, you can't live away from it. And it seems like from then on there's always this yearning for some place that doesn't exist. I felt that. Still do. I'm never completely at home anywhere. But it's a good place to be, I think. It's like floating. From up above, you can see everything at once. It's the only way how." (pg. 315)

This comes from a book I just finished reading, Caucasia. It was a really good book, even though I found it difficult to relate. It's the story of a bi-racial girl coming of age.

Something about this quote really touched me. I wish I could explain it.

Pillows

You're all going to have to use your imagination a little bit on this one.

With the hubby out of town I decided it was the perfect time to wash his pillows. That way, even if they took forever to dry, no one was put out.

However, I didn't take into account that these stupid pillows had some sort of plastic type coating on them. The first one out of the washing machine didn't seem to soak up too much water. I did have to squeeze it out a bit, but nothing too serious.

The second one was a different story. I'm not kidding you, I bet this one soaked up 4 gallons of water. I didn't measure, but that's about how much I'm estimating I squeezed out.

Yes, squeezed.

This is the part that may require your imagination.

I took that second pillow out on the deck and let it sit in the sun for at least an hour. When I went out to get it, I picked it up and felt water sloshing around inside it. Yes, it was still holding TONS of water. At this point I hung it over the edge of the deck so the water could drip out. And it kind of did. But not really. So I had to take the corners and act as if I were milking a cow. I milked a pillow. It was really strange. But, if we ever move to a farm, I guess I'm prepared.

New project

You may or may not have noticed that I've added a new progress bar over on the right. I've decided to make it my goal this year to finally finish reading David Copperfield. It's 729 pages of Dickens. It's not that it's not interesting, it's just that I always seem to find something more interesting to read. So, once I finish Caucasia it's on to Dickens. Wish me luck.

I'm going to try to make you understand

I'm a tech writer. A lot of you don't get how I could possibly do this all day, 40 hours a week, for the rest of my life. But here's my attempt to make you understand.

How Tech Writing Is Like a Puzzle

I don't know how some of you do puzzles, but here's how I do one. First, I sort through all the pieces and pick out anything that forms the edge of the puzzle. The edge has to go together first.

Once that's done, I dig through the remaining pieces to find the pieces that form the large portions of the puzzle. You know, if it's a landscape with a lighthouse, you put the lighthouse together first and try to forget that half of the puzzle is sky!

Once anything that forms the easily put together portions is done, then you have to begin sorting through all that sky and putting it in piles based on minute variances in shading. Only then can you put the sky together.

The final step is putting the sealer on the puzzle and hanging it.

I put a manual together the same way.

First I find another manual that resembles what I'm trying to create. That's the edge. Then I sort through the information I have and fill in any major illustrations or instructions that need to be replaced. That part is the lighthouse. Once that's done, I have to tackle the tough part of the manual...all the information that I need to chase after people and sit on them to get. That and editing are the sky. The final step of a manual is printing to PDF and uploading it to our system. That would be the sealer. Actually seeing it on the system is like looking at it hanging on the wall.
Does that explain it?

Another one that gets me

This makes me laugh too. When Big says that "It might be worse under there." and then she runs into the door, I bust a gut. You really only need to watch that far.

Dark Chocolate

Don't know why, but this makes me giggle every time I see it!

New link

I added a new link to my list of fun links. Check it out and see how nerdy I am now! I'm a card-carrying member!

Kim

Kim and family...

I haven't forgotten you. You will make the blog. It's just been a little hectic around here.

Too easy to resist

I've been taken over by the machine that is big business.

Tonight munchkin and I made a Wal-Mart run. We needed a few things around the house and I had to return an iPod arm band that I had bought.

We walked into the store, just like we usually do. But this time, I happened to look at our reflections in the window on the way in. We were both, head to toe, dressed in Wal-Mart's finest.

Shirts, pants/shorts, shoes. Every single bit of it was purchased at, and helped to line, Wal-Mart's pocket.

I guess I could say that we don't have a lot of other shopping options here. And we don't. And it's not that I think I'm too good for Wal-Mart stuff. But it really does bother me a little that Wal-Mart makes so much money and pays their staff so little. I used to work there. I know. And from what I hear, the benefits are atrocious. I hear way too many stories of people being scheduled just under 40 hours so Wal-Mart doesn't have to pay for benefits.

I played a role in all those people getting less than they deserve.

If we didn't shop there, big businesses couldn't do this to their employees. But, with gas prices the way they are, convenience wins out. Besides, do I really want to pay a bunch of money for clothes that the munchkin is either going to ruin or grow out of in 3 months? Nope. So, watch me pull out my money and support the biggest of all mega-marts.

Round and round

Took the munchkin to Wal-Mart tonight. Mom came along. After we checked out, we took the little girl over to the game room. She had been begging to go "round and round". So, I fed the merry-go-round the necessary two quarters. The music started, the horses whirled, and the face lit up. "WHEE!" She actually said, "Whee!"

And I was struck by how we all go around and around. We all have our moments with our children. Some moments we're on top of the world. Some we're down as far as we can be. But eventually we all come back around to where we started.

I'll go around as many times as it takes. This is one wild ride, but I know that it all comes around to the right side.

Obscene spending

We're going to make some major improvements to our home. First, we're putting up a brand new vinyl fence exactly like the one shown above. Then, there's going to be a brand new vinyl deck. Then some major landscaping in the backyard. And the piece the hubby is most excited about...fancy new garage doors that he's been wanting for two years. It's going to be kind of wild around here for a couple of months. I'll post pictures as we see progress.

Bicycle

Oh how I wish this blog could capture tone of voice. Half of what the munchkin does is only cute because of the way she says things. For example, this morning we took a ride over to Nana and Papa's on her bike. And the way she says bicycle is just about the cutest darn thing. Well, not as cute as the way she says, "Bless you." But still cute none the less.

She does really well on the tricycle. Unless she gets distracted. If she gets distracted she tends to steer off in one direction or the other. Then I have to remind her to pay attention or she'll fall off. Every time that happens, she says, "Sorry mommy." That's pretty cute too.

She loves that trike. I'm excited for her to get to the point where we can remove the steering bar. She's already getting the hang of pedaling. It's going to be a fun summer.

More is better...

Or is it just more?

It would seem that "things" are important to me.

One book is good. Oh, yes, but having boxes of them is better. Want a purple pen? Lovely idea. How about three or four...in different shades...and different types. Crazy socks. Sure. I have a whole drawer full. There are stripes, polka dots, fish, bicycles, cats, etc. I could go without washing socks for weeks on end. Yarn and fabric abound in my craft room. It is entirely possible that I have more than I'll ever be able to use.

So why do I insist on collecting things?

The answer from 4 or 5 years ago was that I was filling an empty space in my life. I don't have that empty space anymore. I'm working through the fabric and yarn and giving the results away to charity. At least someone will benefit from my past mistakes. And I'm weeding out pens and other office supplies of which I have way too many. I wear socks so many months of the year that there seems no sense in getting rid of them. And I won't get rid of my books. You can't make me. Besides, I do read them.

You can tame some habits, but some are impossible to get rid of. And truly, what better item to hoard than books?

The flip side

I lied. I have this in me too.

Took the munchkin to the park late this afternoon......on her new TRIKE! I picked it up at Wal-Mart. The hubby sweated his great big heart out to put it together while she napped. And when he wheeled it out after her nap, oh the response. Eyes as big as saucers, sharp intake of breath, and a nearly whispered "bicycle".

Oh she was proud.

It's got a handle on the back so the parent can steer it. And the munchkin thinks it's nearly as fun to ride as it is to push!

Open wounds

I have a list of things to blog about, but this is all I can manage tonight.

We (myself, my mother, and my father) attended a visitation this afternoon for the mother of a family friend. When my mom mentioned it on the phone, I didn't even think. I just asked when I should pick them up. Still didn't think anything of it until my mom's step faltered near the entrance to the room for the family we were visiting. Then she said this was going to be bad. I believe her words were, "I didn't think it was going to be this bad, but I think it's going to be worse."

And I slammed into the wall. And I fought the urge to throw up for a good 20 minutes. And nothing's been right since then. And why didn't I think of that before I walked in?

Amazing words

Please, Please, PLEASE check out my friend Carrie's blog. It's so amazingly heartfelt. Pass it around folks. She's got some great insights!

F-U-N-K, FUNK!

I'm in a deep one. I wake up in the morning and mentally beg to pull the covers over my head and forget that I have responsibilities. I crawl into the shower and debate the merits of exfoliating because it just seems like too much work. I get the munchkin off to daycare and myself off to work. I drag myself through the day. I come home, images of all I should get done dancing through my brain. And in the end, I collapse into my chair as if I haven't slept in days.

I know what my problem is, and I'm working on fixing it. But you know what, some days I wonder if there's an end in sight. But there has to be, so I keep moving.

Wussing out

I took today off to recoup and get my head in a better place to focus on work. Yesterday took more out of me than I thought it would. I woke up this morning feeling like there was a lead blanket on top of me. Made it through my shower but just couldn't go any further. Went to see my doctor. We're switching all kinds of things up to try and manage the pain and get me some real rest at night. Also checking my thyroid to see if that might be part of the problem. So today is all about rest and relaxation. Going to eat something and then have a nap. Ah. Sounds like that might be just the right prescription.

Running on empty

Back from the funeral. I guess I have to say it all went very well. My father gave a beautiful eulogy. Munchkin behaved herself pretty well. That church has got to get air conditioning. And now, it's back to our regularly scheduled program. May we all find peace in the coming days.

Pulling out a UFO

In times of stress I go to crochet. The repetitive motion is comforting. But when I'm stressed I find it difficult to focus on a pattern. So I'll be pulling out the DC blue afghan. Maybe I can make some progress on that. I wouldn't mind finding some peace in the work either.

What I know

Friday morning, July the 4th, 8:17 a.m. My mom called.

"We lost Grandpa last night."

"What time?"

"3:30. And I'm choosing to think he'll have the best seat for the fireworks."

Yep. That's for sure. And he was probably up there thinking how silly we all were for grieving for him. He was just that kind of guy. He always thought that no one should waste their time on him.

Growing up with Grandpa around was always an interesting experience. He was 15 years older than my Grandmother (see where I get it from?). No matter who was in the room, if one of the grandkids ended up crying, the oldest one in the room took the blame for it because they should have known better.

And you never had to wonder what he was thinking. He'd be sure to tell you. Can't tell you how many times we heard about which nurse might be a little heavier than the rest or the fact that he no longer had to worry about making it to the bathroom in time. Yep, he told it like it was. All of that was the Archie Bunker in him.

But he had a soft spot for us as well. My memories include ribbon candy and a contest at the Ag Heritage museum.

He might have been a little rough around the edges, but he'd admit those edges to you. I wish I had his strength.

RIP

For Gpa Jerry

December 15, 1912 - July 4, 2008

Puffcorn

Munchkin got introduced to "Pops" by Nana. Pops, also known as Puffcorn. She is positively addicted to this stuff. We were out, so I tried to S-N-E-A-K some into the cart at the grocery store last night. Nope. She saw it right away. And all the way through the store she wanted them. Finally, when we got home, and had told the hubby, "Daddy, I got Pops!" I gave in and let her have some. When I brought her the bowl, she got the most angelic smile on her face, clasped her hands together and said, "POPS!" I guess now I know I should never be out again!

Mortality

My grandfather is dying. People keep telling us the end is near and they're surprised he lasted through last night.

I'm torn.

I love my grandfather dearly and want him around, but how much more can I/we ask from a 95-year-old man? He's seen so much, been so many places, and has had experiences worthy of writing about.

As is typical when you are faced with losing someone you love, I'm beginning to think about my own mortality.

This discussion would have been something entirely different three years ago. At that point I had only just begun a relationship with the wonderful man I am lucky enough to call my husband. That relationship was nothing like it is today. There were so many similarities. We were passionate, we were deeply in love, and we shared the same dreams. All of those are the same today. However, what isn't the same is how we loved each other. Sure, we loved each other and everything that the other stood for. Today, that love is greater and deeper than anything I could have imagined. Every day he provides me with more of what I need. He's there every step of the way.

Then, there's the munchkin. She's my reason for moving forward every day. I knew that being a mother would involve unconditional love. What I didn't know was how deeply I would be affected by that. Every decision I make is based on what's the best for my girl. No longer is it important that I get my nails done or color my hair. Now it's about Pops (see another forthcoming post for more information) and chicken fries. And I love it.

I'm mortal. Any morning could be my last. On my thirtieth birthday and in the days leading up to it, I questioned where I was in my life. I'm still questioning. But in the face of losing my grandfather, I find that I know I'm on the right road. I'm building a family and a lifetime's worth of memories. If I died tomorrow, what would be my legacy?

I guess the best I can say is that I couldn't be happier to have Wife, Mother, and Pop provider on my headstone.