Let me just tell you...

The week of January 18-24th was a difficult one at my house. Shall we run down the list?

On Tuesday I did some checking. Apparently, I make too much money to adequately care for my child, but yet I don't make enough to adequately care for her. Even if I weren't working right now, because of the money that we receive from Ron's Social Security income, we are over the income limit for Medicaid. For me, this isn't such a tragedy. I can take decent care of myself on my own. But for the munchkin, healthcare would be so welcome. And that's a hard pill to swallow. Once I get bills paid off I'll be able to put aside enough money that if either of us needs to go to the doctor, it won't break us. And I'm also in the process of looking for a job that offers medical benefits. So all is not lost. But, I guess, I was really hoping that we could get some help.

Wednesday we were having rotten weather around here. Bitterly cold, high winds, freezing rain, blowing snow, etc. Because my daycare is out of town I asked my parents to go pick up the munchkin. When I wasn't a single mother the weather didn't seem so much of an issue. But, things are what they are now, and so I deal with it the best way I know how. Maybe I'll move to some warmer climate.

Thursday was my wedding anniversary. The stress of the event was enough for me, but not sleeping well for several days ahead of time made me a basket case. In order to not be alone that evening, I invited all the girls over for Stitch and Bitch. I made some great dips and a chocolate cake. It wouldn't have been a day to remember Ron without chocolate cake.

But Friday was the real kicker. In the last few weeks both my parents and I had noticed that the munchkin was squinting and closing her left eye when looking at things close up. I was of a mind to believe it was just something she "did". However, Mom chose to freak me out by googling the information and finding that it could be lazy eye or any other myriad problems. Did I have the money to take her to the optometrist? HECK NO! Bless Mom and Dad, they made it happen. So, Friday Morning at 8:15 we showed up for an eye appointment for a (nearly) 4-year-old.

First they took us into a side room where they did some measurements and tests to see if she could tell which animal "popped off the page". She did OK, but was much more interested in telling us about the animals than which one looked different. Then, they pulled out the book with pictures designed to test whether or not she was color blind. The woman asked her to trace the numbers, and the munchkin is not overly familiar with the concept of tracing. She shocked us all a bit when I asked her if she could see a number in the picture and she piped right up to say, "Oh, the 7?"

In the end, the optometrist determined that she has a "significant" prescription necessary in both eyes. She wouldn't even cover her good eye with the paddle in order to test the strength of the weak eye. Don't ask me how, but they did get a good look at both eyes and determined that she not only needs glasses but should also do some work at home while wearing a patch in order to strengthen the weak eye.

The optometrist also commented that children will often greatly change their behavior greatly upon beginning to wear glasses. They feel more secure in their world once they can see better. I'm hoping that this will be true in our situation as she can be difficult to deal with at times.

However, the munchkin did love trying on glasses. After all, Mommy and Nana wear glasses all the time anyway. So now she'll be just like us. We chose an extremely cute pair of pink glasses with bright green butterflies on the ear pieces. She's been asking when she can wear her glasses. I'm hoping they'll be in today or tomorrow at the latest.

It was a week certain to make the strongest of people feel a bit overwhelmed. But, now it's over and I feel like I can again take some time to breathe.

The lesson in all of this is that I have to learn to slow down. I need to realize that everything will work out in the end. One way or another, she and I will make it through all of this and be stronger because of it. Currently, I can't say I'm feeling all that strong, but I'll get there.

Strength isn't something that you either have or don't. Certainly some people are emotionally stronger than others. Am I one? All I know is what I've told many of my friends. I'm only a woman playing the hand she's been dealt. I have no other choice. Sure, I want to throw my hands in the air and just go back to bed. But that doesn't accomplish anything. And it's not what Ron would have wanted for us either. He taught me a lot. And now, I have to teach the munchkin those same lessons.

Wise words

" I try to take things one day at a time, but lately, several days have attacked me at once."

While still saving you from the details you don't really need to or care to know, I'll let you know that today was definitely not my best day ever. I ended up at the doctor's office, for me this time, not the munchkin.

After spending an hour and a half at the clinic, getting my diagnosis, and getting a prescription called in to my local pharmacy, I spent 40 minutes going to get the munchkin from daycare. By the time I got to the pharmacy, they STILL hadn't filled the prescription. I don't understand this. But I've got it now, and things are looking up.

Bloated

OK, I'm going to say this and then I'm going to post about something more positive. I'm not sure what that is yet, but I'll figure it out.

Hubby is in the hospital...still.

After surgery last night the difficult recovery process began. First he thought he was having another heart attack. Blood enzymes and the EKG came back normal.

I talked to him at 7 this morning. He hadn't slept, his reflux was problematic, he was in a lot of pain, and in the night, one of his incisions had come open causing him to bleed a lot. Not a great first night.

By the end of the day he was not doing better and his abdomen was firm. It's not supposed to be.

Either tonight or tomorrow he's having another surgery to relieve the pressure. That's what I know. Not much, but enough to make me worry. If you're the praying type, say one for us, please.

Tomorrow is it

Hubby's heading in for surgery tomorrow morning. Wish us well. Too tired right now to write about anything more. Sorry for the lazy posting lately. Feeling run down. I think it's more complications from the accident. I'm OK though.

Add it to your list

Apparently you shouldn't buy cold medicine while under the influence of other cold medicine. Thanks to the munchkin for sharing her cold with me. I'm now living in the medicated haze that only the "common" cold can produce. Really, I'm not doing so poorly, but I am losing my voice. (No comments from the peanut gallery on that one!) But I did try to buy some more Thera Flu and failed miserably. I've found that the sore throat stuff with the apple cinnamon flavor is slightly palatable.

However, this is what I inadvertantly bought.

And it tastes horrible. Oh well. There are only six packets. It won't last long. And seriously, take a look at the packaging. Not fair. Do they really think that those of us suffering from colds will even notice the difference?

I did buy some of this Yogi Tea. Haven't tried it yet, but that will be a treat for later tonight after the munchkin goes to bed. Me, tea, a book. I also want to try the Honey Lemon Throat Comfort and several of the mind teas. I love tea. It's so comforting. I really need to start drinking it more.

New piercings

I got my ears pierced in several new places today. Here's a picture of what my ear looks like right now. The other ear looks the same.

No, this is not a new fashion statement. I now have four of these teeny gold studs in each ear until they fall out. (The one you can't see is in the top of my ear.) This is the latest form of acupuncture we're trying. I've been trying to do some research on it, but haven't found much. Maybe I'm just using the wrong search terms.

Insertion was painful, and they're still very tender right now. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but I'll let you know how the weekend goes. In the meantime, wish me luck. Who knows when and where one might choose to fall out!

Here's an article I found that mentions it. Pretty interesting actually!

Wussing out

I took today off to recoup and get my head in a better place to focus on work. Yesterday took more out of me than I thought it would. I woke up this morning feeling like there was a lead blanket on top of me. Made it through my shower but just couldn't go any further. Went to see my doctor. We're switching all kinds of things up to try and manage the pain and get me some real rest at night. Also checking my thyroid to see if that might be part of the problem. So today is all about rest and relaxation. Going to eat something and then have a nap. Ah. Sounds like that might be just the right prescription.

A little MIA

I know it's been a couple of days since I posted on here. Things have been hectic around here.

A couple of weeks ago, the hubby and his doctor decided it would be best for him to have gastric bypass surgery. His necessary caloric intake due to the diabetes, coupled with the mess his body's in from his accident 30 years ago, makes it nearly impossible for him to lose the weight he needs to. So that's been stressing me.

Now I'm sitting here waiting to hear about my grandfather. He's been going downhill for a couple of weeks now. Tonight we got word that he's been unresponsive all day and has stopped breathing several times. Mom and dad went to see him. I need to remember him the way I last saw him. He wasn't looking good, but at least he still sort of looked like Grandpa.

It's been a rough couple of days. We're all just trying to hang in there the best we can.

Sorry for all the doom and gloom. It's the best I can do today.

Choppy waters

I'm seeing the tail end of a viscious migraine and I'm still riding the wake. This one held me for four days so far. I did acupuncture, Imitrex, Excedrin Migraine, muscle relaxers, pain pills, drug-induced sleep, and anything else I could think of that might break it.

In the end, I gave up and called my chiropractor in tears. I went in at noon today and got adjusted 7 ways from Sunday. There was more snappping, crackling, and popping going on than a box of Rice Krispies.

I feel better. Better. Not good. I'm still dealing with a major migraine. I'll be heading off to bed shortly. It's time for another muscle relaxer and a good night's sleep. It's been a long week already. Thank goodness I work with some really great people.

Better than the people I work with would be the hubby. Thanks to him, I haven't had to cook during all this. And he's been great about the housework. I lucked out marrying this one. Hubby, if you're reading this, you're a prince. I'll crochet you a crown.

Aha!

No Factor V Leiden for me! My blood test came back negative!