Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Big move in my crochet world

I am taking a huge step tomorrow. I am going to an actual LYS (Local Yarn Store). And I'm going to spend (potentially) lots of money on high-end yarn. I found this pattern in the coolest crochet magazine ever, Interweave Crochet.

I love this scarf. So, I'm going to spend my money and make the scarf. I was talking with Mom about it and telling her that it's quite possibly a 30-40 dollar scarf. She made a very good point...it would cost me three times that in a boutique. Plus, this way I'll be able to say I made it.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Stress eating

I went to the grocery store tonight after going out to eat with friends and family. After having a VERY BAD couple of days, it felt like chocolate. And several other things apparently. Here's the haul.
I bought two boxes of Hershey's Pot of Gold chocolate. They were included in the after Christmas 50% off deal, so I felt I could justify it. Of course, when you're talking chocolate, who needs justification?
I also grabbed two packages of wafer cookies. Very comforting.
I decided it was high time to buy a box of the Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Cookie Selection. It's an assortment of their regular cookies with chocolate added. How can you go wrong?
Two large packages of M&Ms...one Peanut Butter and one Almond. I figured each of those has some protein, right? Can't be all bad.
A jar of macademia nuts because they're just so darn good.
Three pints of ice cream. Haagen-Dazs Chocolate, Haagen-Dazs Peppermint Bark ('Tis the season after all), and Ben and Jerry's One Cheesecake Brownie. YUMMMMMMMM!
A bag of Caramel Crunch Chex Mix. I love the combo of sweet and salty.
A bag of Brach's Royals. Chewy, multiple flavors, goodness. Sugar is our friend.
I also picked up a package of Ice Breakers Ice Cubes because I've never had them. Chewing one right now and I'm pretty sure I'll be buying more.
Then I hit the "crunchy organic" section to try out some high end chocolate. My first pick was Dagoba Organic Chocolate, Chai flavor. I'll let you know how it is when I taste it. I also grabbed a Chocolove Cherries & Almonds in Dark Chocolate bar. The packaging says that there's a love poem inside. Goodness knows I could use some love right now. Again, I'll let you know once I taste it.
Throw in a crocheting magazine and a book, and that's my haul. So, anyone think I've lost it?

Little miracles

It's the little things that help me keep going. Seen after the munchkin's bath. It's an imprint of her little foot. So cute.

Friday, December 26, 2008

And the day after

I made it through the first Christmas. It wasn't all sunshine and roses, but it certainly wasn't as bad as I feared. Everything was really OK until we pulled into the garage after spending the afternoon and evening over at my mom and dad's. Then munchkin called for daddy. I didn't even make it out of the car before I melted into a puddle of tears. Every time I do that the munchkin gets scared and asks me what's wrong. How do I explain?

For whatever reason, sometime early this afternoon I decided that today was the day to deal with switching closets. Up to this point, since we moved into this house, hubby's clothes were in the closet in the master bedroom and mine were in the spare bedroom. The same for dressers. Even though I felt it was really forever saying goodbye to him, I decided today was the day for the move. So I sucked up my courage, called for reinforcements (Mom had offered to help in this process a long time ago), and dove in.

The closet is now clean and nearly organized. The spare bedroom is partially organized. I've been to Wal-Mart. Several hundreds of dollars later I have my kitchen cabinets organized, a new flat screen TV in my bedroom (THANKS JODI!), all the random things that needed to go back to Wal-Mart are back there, Dad's the receiver of some of Ron's old things, tons of stuff for the garage sale are down in the lower level, and I'm exhausted.

I also did load after load of laundry, TRIED to put some of munchkin's things away, mixed up bread dough to bake for tomorrow's extended family Christmas, and just basically made the mess of things that happens while you're organizing.

One of the next projects will be to sort through munchkin's toybox and get rid of some things. She's got so much new stuff from Christmas that there's no way I can keep this living room even close to neat unless I do something about this situation. Really, you should see the floor of the living room. It's horrible. And I'm not even going to attempt it tonight.

The word of the month...SIGH.


Sempiternal- of never ending duration; having beginning but no end; everlasting; endless

I've always been a collector of words. I subscribe to the word a day email list from dictionary.com. This word came up a long time ago, and I'm just now getting to documenting it.

It strikes me that this word is appropriate for me in two ways now.

First, it describes my relationship and my love for Ron. And now, it also describes my grief. I'm sure that this pain will lessen, but I'm also certain it will never end.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Yay me!

I made it. I'm actually home. I'm on break until January 5th. I so need this time off to relax, get some things done, and get my head back in the right place. Thanks to all of you who have been supportive over the last three months. I love you all and think you're amazing. It's so nice to know you all have my back. We're just going to hang out and sloth around tonight. I'm so ready for reading a book and drinking tea. It's taken a lot to get me here, and the upcoming week looks to be rough, but I'm going to make it.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

An apology

I'm sorry I haven't been posting much. Lately wave after wave of grief has come washing over me. I find myself snapping at friends when they say things with the best of intentions. I'm angry and I don't know what I'm angry about or why I'm angry.

The holidays have got me down and I'm ready to pull my head into my shell and let the world pelt me with whatever it has to dish out.

So that's the bulk of it. Say your prayers for me. I need them in a big way.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Trying to prepare

OK, so I'm home. I've taken several deep breaths and a couple doses of anxiety medication to get me here. This week I refused to let myself feel the grief that I knew was there because I knew I wouldn't be able to get up and move forward every day if I let it overtake me. But with two days off, and a short work week coming, I plan to wallow tonight. I'm pretty sure I've managed my leave of absence over the holidays so that I can just try to survive. Think good thoughts for me for Monday and Tuesday.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Another one

I can picture Ron pretending to play the guitar. He would have loved this.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

More blessings

Suggested at a forum I've joined. They're amazing people. They are blessings.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

God bless moms

My mom sent this to me. Since I'm having a horrible day, it felt so good to read it. Rather than emailing it, I'm sending it out to all of you this way.

Dear God: The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs You the most, and let her know when she walks with You, she will always be safe.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

I still can't say goodbye

How do you say goodbye to your best friend and the love of your life?

Lyrics are here.

Warning: Video is mildly graphic


Suddenly, in the last two or three weeks, the munchkin has developed a real attitude. She's sassy, and I don't like it. Lord, help me. I've still got 11 more years before she hits her teens.

Earlier this week my parents were over at my house. Chloe absolutely loves her "Scooby Bones". They're simply graham crackers in the shape of dog bones. Anyway, my dad likes them too. When they were over he asked her if he could have one. She said, "NO!" And it wasn't a "Gosh, Papa, I'm so cute so I think I'll make my eyes twinkle and tell you no" kind of no. It was seriously naughty and sassy.

On its own, that would have been enough to earn her a punishment. However, she had to insult to injury by giving one to my mom without being asked. When mom asked if she could give hers to Papa, munchkin again said no in her sassy little voice. Then she gave me one and wouldn't let me give it to Papa.

So she earned a time out.

When she told me she was ready to give one to Papa, I let her come out. She still wouldn't give him one. She got to go back into time out three more times before she would give one to him.

*le sigh*

Knock knock

While shopping in Wal-Mart yesterday the munchkin girl made me laugh right out loud. She was sitting in the cart and said, "Knock knock." And before I could ask, "Who's there?" she said, "Who's there? IT'S ME!" Sometimes I worry that she's smarter than I am! :)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

6 months

I was talking with an old friend tonight. I mentioned that I was heading into a rough stretch for me. Here's what's up.

December 25th - Obviously Christmas
December 31st - New Year's Eve
January 21st - Our wedding anniversary
February 13th - Munchkin's birthday
February 14th - Valentine's Day
March 19th - Hubby's birthday
May 8th - the day we met
May 10th - My birthday

I get April off, but that's pretty much it. Once I hit mid-May, I'm golden until the anniversary of his death. But this stretch...this one is going to be really rough. So think of me. My counselor keeps telling me to take it one day at a time because if you think about too much, you'll get overwhelmed. Right now, I'm just trying to hold out for bedtime.

Monday, December 1, 2008


Excerpted from a podcast by Max Lucado I listen to:

God never watches weather forecasts. There are no unknowns to him. Psalm 33:11 says, "The counsel of the Lord standeth for ever, the thoughts of his heart to all generations." What may happen today is nothing new to Him. We've come to expect that life comes with change. And while we do not know the future, we can know God who does and we can know that he will walk with us into it.

I find much comfort in this. I was recently asked by my parents what, other than the obvious, is different about my life since the hubby died. He was my compass. He helped guide me. I am forever indebted to him for making me into the woman I am today. Now that he's gone, I feel adrift in what used to be a seemingly planned and orderly life. I don't know the future anymore, and that's what scares me most. Lord, help me come to know You better so I will have a firmer grasp on Your hand as we walk, together, into the future.

For those of you that are the praying types, please say a prayer that I will come to know the Lord better, and in knowing Him better, feel more secure in my future.

Friday, November 28, 2008


Not at all what I expected. Thanksgiving was never a very important holiday for me. I enjoyed it, sure. But I never really got my underwear too much in a bunch about it.

I have to admit, yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. Although, I seem to be having my share of those lately. Everything just felt wrong from the moment I woke up. I served lunch to several of the mentally handicapped from our local facility. Our church held a lunch for them. It was really wonderful for me to be able to give something back. But other than that, the day was pretty much an unmitigated disaster.

I didn't do much but cry. But at least it helps to prepare for Christmas. Oh boy. That one's going to be rough.

Sorry this is so dreary.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Wise words

" I try to take things one day at a time, but lately, several days have attacked me at once."
While still saving you from the details you don't really need to or care to know, I'll let you know that today was definitely not my best day ever. I ended up at the doctor's office, for me this time, not the munchkin.
After spending an hour and a half at the clinic, getting my diagnosis, and getting a prescription called in to my local pharmacy, I spent 40 minutes going to get the munchkin from daycare. By the time I got to the pharmacy, they STILL hadn't filled the prescription. I don't understand this. But I've got it now, and things are looking up.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Too much

Munchkin hurt herself on Sunday and began crying and asking for Daddy. I just held her and we cried.

What else is there to do?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Another reason I'll never be President

I just read an article saying that Obama may have to surrender his blackberry. Presidents don't get to use email. The concern is The Presidential Records Act. This puts the correspondence of the President ultimately up for public review.

Never in all my life would I want my emails up for public review.

I'm not doing anything illegal, but they are my private thoughts. My private neurosis. I invite you all to this blog, give you an entree into my private life, but I never share all. There are things you'll never see on here. Thoughts you'll never know about. Some of the things that I share with friends by email would not be anything I want to share with the world as a whole.

Nor would I be willing to give up contacting my friends by email. And there's the difference between me and my father. According to my father, email will be dead in 6 months. Of course, he's been saying that for the past two years. We still have to call him and tell him we've sent him an email.

Mom's finally begun leaving her cell phone on. My family and technology. *sigh*

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Gotta have it

How great is this?


I spent several hours last night out with the girls. Jessica's getting married January 10th and her bachelorette party was last night. Boy did I need a night out with the girls. Jessica had rented a party bus and so we had a sober driver taking us around all night and someone to drive us home as well.

We started the evening with a tour of the small town bars and eventually worked our way downtown. I even managed to go to a bar that I'd never been to before.

We really had a great time. And the party bus is definitely the way to go. I understand we'll have it for the wedding too.

I met a lot of really great people...you all know who you are. And Jessica and Melissa, thanks for dragging me out of my slump and letting me have such a good time. It was a night I'm sure I'll never forget!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Baking bread

I enjoy cooking and baking. But a few weeks ago Heather started talking about this new method of making bread on her podcast. I thought, no way can it be this easy. I'm going to expend time and energy, it's going to flop, and I'm going to be angry. But it didn't flop.

Here's my test loaf before it went into the oven.

Here it is after I took it out. DELICIOUS!

Check it out here. It really is amazing.

New socks

Yes, I'm behind. My friend Carrie sent me these. What a wonderful pick-me-up. And since I love crazy socks, it was that much better. Thanks, Carrie. I sure do appreciate it!

How much happiness can you buy for $18?

This much. YUM!

Finally reading

I've been reading on grief today. Here's a selection of things I've found interesting/helpful.

"I'll cry with you,"
she whispered
"until we run out of tears.
Even if it's forever.
We'll do it together."
There it was...a simple
promise of connection.
The loving alliance of
grief and hope that
blesses both our breaking
apart and our coming
together again.

Molly Fumia, Safe Passage

I need someone who believes the sun will rise again, but who does not fear my darkness. Someone who can point out the rocks in my way without making me a child by carrying me. Someone who can stand in thunder and watch the lightning and believe in a rainbow.

Fr. Joe Mahoney, Concerns of Police Survivors Newsletter

Monday, November 10, 2008

Please, Santa?

Can you please tell me, in the name of all that is holy, what lover of Chai and hot chocolate doesn't want one of these for Christmas?

Santa, I promise I'll be good for...at least...ummm. Oh shoot. I blew it.

Sunday, November 9, 2008


How do I move past this? This is a blinding, incapacitating, horrifying wave of wanting to do nothing.

I tried to push myself today. I did laundry. I scrubbed my bathroom floor. I vacuumed my bedroom. I had planned to make bread, but forgot to buy yeast.

Yes, this is how it is every day. I keep forgetting to do things. I keep floating along hoping that something will happen to knock me into some new place.

Is any of this making any sense or am I just babbling?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Heard and noted

"I am weary but I am not weak."

Yep, that's me.

Lazy, lack of direction day

Oh today.

I slept in with the munchkin in bed next to me watching Sponge Bob. I'm certain they're going to take away my mommy badge. But I needed the sleep so badly.

I did get some laundry done, but there are darks still languishing in the dryer. And I need to get the lights in to dry. Tomorrow is about washing sheets and towels. Ever feel like you're caught in a horrible cycle and you just need a kick in the butt to get out?

The house is a wreck. Vacuuming with the munchkin awake is not an option. She's terrified of the vacuum. I need to do the living room and my room. I also need to scrub the floor and tub in my bathroom. And the kitchen floor needs sweeping. Ick. I need a maid.

Went to the 50th anniversary party for my sister-in-law's parents this afternoon. I should have stayed home. There were lots of people there who wanted to tell me how sorry they were to hear about the hubby dying. I appreciate it more than anyone can know, but since I was already having a bad day, I cried several times during the party. And I was reminded that I will never have this kind of party. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

I need to keep moving. I'm slowly organizing and getting my life back in order. What I really want is to take a week and just go to an island while a group of people transforms my house into the restful, clean oasis I need. I suppose the answer to that would be not sitting around so much. Maybe I could do one onerous task a night. Maybe I could just collapse in a heap.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A healing election

Yesterday evening I made it past one of the many hurdles I will face this year. Our country elected a new president. And they elected a man many never thought they would see as the President Elect. My husband wasn't sure from the beginning who to vote for. He had his prejudices. He wasn't sure if he could really vote for a black man. In the end, he decided that Obama had his vote.

Since Ron's death I haven't been able to bring myself to watch any election coverage or debates. Ron was heavily interested in politics. Because of him, I was more interested and better educated this time than ever before. I used to joke with him that I was an election widow.

Had I only known then what I know now.

There are things you wish you could go back and "un-say". There are times you wish you could go back and change.

Ron was nearly beside himself in June when Tim Russert died. He was one of Ron's heroes. Ron believed in his moral character and what Russert had to say to the country. Ron wasn't much of a reader, but he wanted to read Russert's two books.

Ron would have been glued to the TV last night, and I probably would have complained the whole time. So, to get myself over the political coverage hurdle, I invited the girls over for stitch and bitch.

There was food, wine, and friendship. I commented that I had ulterior motives for inviting them that particular night. I was told that they would have come anyway just to be with me. That's true friendship. And that's what Ron would have wanted. He would have wanted me watching the coverage. So I did him the honor.

And I'm certain he and Tim Russert were up there mapping the coverage on white boards.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The eternal question

How are we doing?

I don't know how to answer that. I guess I'd have to say that I mostly feel like I'm living insdie a bubble. The bubble contains me and the munchkin. Mostly, nothing else gets in. Of course, nothing really gets out either. I know that in reality I need to let people in. I keep trying to remind myself of that. But how do you let people in when everything feels so empty?

My chest feels empty, except for the constant ache that now resides there.

My eyes are empty, except for the tears that are always threatening to overflow.

My nights are empty, except for the memories that keep me awake.

My life is empty, except for all that I have left to live for.

And it's that last one that keeps me moving. My family and friends have been there for me in ways I never imagined. Even near strangers have offered to help. Believe in the kindness that's out there. It really does exist.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Watch out peanut gallery

No comments about becoming crazy cat lady...
Here's the newest kitty to come live with me. I'm pretty sure my limit is three...
Her name's Scarlett.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

How are we doing?

We're moving forward. I can't say we're moving on. I have ups and downs. But I find solace in unusual places. People are taking care of us. And the last thing he would have wanted is for me to get sucked under by this. I'll take any help I can to keep from getting sucked under.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

How do I explain this?

I mentioned before that the hubby came to me through a medium. I don't know if you're a believer or not, but here's what happened.

Hubby always told me he would haunt me. There had been several things that had happened since his death that told me he was with me still. Golf balls, his sunglasses, songs, etc.

But this had to be the strangest. Please bear with me while I give you the background you'll need to understand.

Ever since the hubby gave me my iPod for Christmas last year, the only thing I've ever listened to on it is podcasts. I have not a single song on it. Yep. I'm that odd. One of my favorites is Craftlit: the podcast for crafters who like books. I had even emailed the host, Heather Ordover, in the past about something she'd mentioned in the podcast. She and I had exchanged emails over the past 6 months or so. Hubby was NOT thrilled because of his ever-vigilant attitude about people finding us and hurting either me or the munchkin.

Thursday night (the night after the hubby's death) I was up late on the computer. I saw that Heather had once sent me a text to my email account. Something told me to contact her, but I checked myself because hubby wouldn't have liked it.

Over the next three days the thought entered my mind at least a hundred times. And every time I dismissed it because the hubby wouldn't have liked it, Heather doesn't know me, she could only really say she's sorry, etc.

Finally, Monday morning I decided that hubby was no longer around to tell me I couldn't, so I sent her a text. Through a series of text messages we discussed the situation and I repeatedly told her I wasn't sure why I was telling her this, but that I'd had a feeling for three days that I was supposed to tell her.

It came out that her theory was that perhaps the universe wasn't so much interested in her as her friend Sam who is rather "sixth sense". Would I like Sam to try and reach hubby? By all means, YES!

Before Heather could contact Sam, Sam contacted Heather and said, "I have someone coming through for you, what's up?"

To make a long story short, hubby is very much with me and very concerned. Several things Sam said could easily have been dismissed. However, she did mention that the image she had coming through over and over and over again was me, sitting at a wooden table, in a straight-backed chair, working on paperwork. The entire time I was texting Heather, I was sitting at my dining room table writing thank yous.

Plus, Sam said there was something about the pen I had used, something where I had checked myself for being silly thinking hubby was with me. Here's the crazy part. I knew that I wanted to write thank yous with the pen that hubby always used for notes and the checkbook. So I had looked through the drawer to find another one like it for my mom to use on the envelopes. I kidded myself for being so silly. No one was going to care if the envelopes matched the note, but it mattered to me that they matched, so I looked until I found one. No one could have known that. When Heather told me that, I about fell off my chair.

I have to believe that this was his way of coming to me. Some of you have expressed doubts as to the source (shall we say angel or demon?) of this visit. If I didn't believe that this was God's way of making me more comfortable by letting me know he's still very much with us, I couldn't go on. I trust that the Lord is guiding Sam. And I know that the Lord is with hubby. Hubby knew who he was in Christ so much more than I did. Even to make me happy he would not use evil means to come to me.

I knew he was with us, I just didn't know how close he truly is.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

New family member

Welcome the newest member of the family...


Tuesday, September 30, 2008


Had an interesting experience with a medium yesterday. I'll write all about it when I can. It was a pretty highly charged experience. Most of you have heard the story, but if you haven't, call me. I'll tell you all about it.

Not a very good day today. But I got the thank yous written. Can I just collapse now?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

He always said he'd haunt me

And this is the song I found on my brand new, never used, shrink-wrapped jump drive yesterday morning.

Moving forward

I want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers. You don't know what that means.

My husband was always very cautious about us saying anything on here that would identify us, and by doing that, put us in harm's way. His biggest concern was taking care of us. With that in mind, I have chosen to post a link to his obituary.

Ron and I had our problems, as all couples do, but most of all, I know he loved me. He still loves me.

Over the next few weeks, so many of you will say, "But she's so young, and they only had three and a half years together." I want you to know that those three and a half years were the best ride of my life. Over the next few months, I want to share with you my best memories of Ron. And as I share these things, it's important to me that you know Ron truly loved life and loved with a generous heart. That's why he died. He used his heart so much that he just wore it out.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The worst ever

For anyone who reads that I haven't yet contacted, my hubby died last night. He had gastric bypass surgery Monday, and had another surgery last night to assess some complications. During the procedure, his heart stopped. The doctors worked for half an hour to try to revive him. Any thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

When crochet goes wrong

I've been crocheting for so long that I've often found myself championing the cause. Crochet is thought of as something old ladies do. Sure, they do, but so do young, hip chicks like myself. OK, go ahead and laugh. But there are a lot of cool projects out there. This is not one of them! Seriously. All I'd need would be a fe-mullet and I'd be set to wear these. Please. If I ever make something like this, remove the hook from my hand!

Project I want to try

I've always wanted to crochet myself a sweater. This one looks like a likely pattern. I would change it a bit though so that the neck wasn't a stovepipe. I think 10 balls of the zinnia would do it. Hmm. Maybe I'll give it a shot.


OK, I'm going to say this and then I'm going to post about something more positive. I'm not sure what that is yet, but I'll figure it out.

Hubby is in the hospital...still.

After surgery last night the difficult recovery process began. First he thought he was having another heart attack. Blood enzymes and the EKG came back normal.

I talked to him at 7 this morning. He hadn't slept, his reflux was problematic, he was in a lot of pain, and in the night, one of his incisions had come open causing him to bleed a lot. Not a great first night.

By the end of the day he was not doing better and his abdomen was firm. It's not supposed to be.

Either tonight or tomorrow he's having another surgery to relieve the pressure. That's what I know. Not much, but enough to make me worry. If you're the praying type, say one for us, please.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Tomorrow is it

Hubby's heading in for surgery tomorrow morning. Wish us well. Too tired right now to write about anything more. Sorry for the lazy posting lately. Feeling run down. I think it's more complications from the accident. I'm OK though.

Monday, September 15, 2008

B flat or A+?

Today was your pretty normal day. In other words, it was B flat. (Hey, Carrie, does that qualify as a nerdy musician term?) However, nothing horrible happened, I finished a manual, and I went to Bible study with my friend Amy. So, these things seem to add up to a pretty great day. A+? I'll take it, whatever letter you want to give it.

Plenty of reading to do and cleaning to take care of. But hey, life is good. Hope you're all doing as well as we are. Can't wait to hear from you. Steph, I'm dying to hear from you. I'll get that email out soon. I promise!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sunday, Sunday

I went to church again with my friend Amy. First of all, she's the most wonderful person. Second of all, she's really bringing something new into my life by sharing her faith with me. I honestly do feel better throughout the week when I go to church on Sunday.

Munchkin girl has been getting over a cold this week. She's been pretty cranky, so that's been rough.

Hubby's preparing for his surgery on the 22nd. Any prayers you can send our way would be appreciated.

I think that's about it for us. Maybe there will be more later. You just never know with me.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Famous last words

Yesterday I read this post on my friend Carrie's blog. And I remember thinking, "I am so glad we're past needing to take a change of clothing everywhere." What's that they say about pride going before a fall?

Mom, Dad, munchkin, and I went to Perkins tonight to enjoy a late dinner. I could tell something was trying to happen in the munchkin's diaper, but every time I checked, nothing had materialized. However, near the end of our meal, it did. On the way to the bathroom my dad noticed that munchkin was going to need a clean pair of pants. Of course, I didn't have any. So, to skip all the messiness (literally and figuratively), she came home wearing a shirt, a diaper, and her shoes.

Welcome to my nightmare. Jump in. The water is warm.

Kind of makes me want to use a brillo pad on my hands!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

For Steph

I promise, promise, promise that I will email you a chatty email about all that is going on. Yes, I have your hotmail address. Either that or I will write a long post to catch everyone up. But seriously, if I don't make some major progress on the Vonnegut for book club, I'm going into a downward shame spiral. It's bad. Very bad. 80 some pages out of over 300. Not so good. So, give me until a week from tomorrow and I promise to be better. Right now things are just crazy busy.

Monday, September 8, 2008

What I'd like to tell you

I'd like to tell you that I have time to blog about all that's been going on in the last week. I don't think I really do, but I'll hit the highlights...

Hubby put up my Williams Sonoma shelves. These were a belated birthday present. They're going to house cookbooks and small appliances that don't get used every day. More pictures when I can get to it. Sorry!

Thinking of starting Pilates. It should be really good for me after the accident. Even got the approval of my chiropractor.

Trying to get really into my book for book club. Not making a lot of progress there. This WILL NOT be the only book I haven't read in the year since I started this thing.

Stitch and bitch tomorrow night. Plus I have to go to a viewing for my daycare provider's father-in-law. It's the right thing to do. Going to be a busy night.

Work continues to keep me busy. I still love it. I'm still crazy. :)

Spent Sunday with my best friend Amy. Went to church with her. Wonderful experience. I'll be going back.

That's the 30 second wrap up. Gotta run!

Monday, September 1, 2008


I made the mistake of looking at yarn today. I've been lusting after some Noro for quite some time after I saw it worked up on someone's blog. Did some checking around, and settled on this. Look in the bottom right corner at the 292 Purples/Magenta/Grey/Blues. I think a couple of balls would do me to play around a make a scarf like the one shown in that blog. I know. The price is crazy. But I'm really dying to try it. Is there a magic yarn fairy out there that would like to send it to me anonymously so I wouldn't have to feel guilty?

Chocolate + Potato Chips = YUM

I've had chocolate covered potato chips before. They're delicious. Tell me that this combo isn't at least intriguing! Saw these on an episode of Unwrapped and was reminded what pure deliciousness tastes like! Try some for yourself. You won't be sorry!


I spent the morning out on our newly renovated deck. We painted/stained it white and had indoor/outdoor carpeting installed. (Pictures to follow when I get the energy.) So this morning I took a cup of Yogi tea, my MP3 player, and my crocheting and sat out there.

There was a pretty stiff wind (25-35 mph), but it was still so nice. I've been working on my blue "green" scarf. I named it that because it's reusing some yarn from a sweater that I took apart. Therefore, it's "green" in the sense that I didn't purchase anything new made by a factory. This scarf is done with a very fine yarn and a very small hook (Size E) so it's going to take a while. But it's going to be pretty cool.

The hubby gave me a compliment yesterday on the yarn "feeder" I was using. I read about it on a crochet forum, so I can't take credit for the idea. Do you recognize the container? It's a bleach wipes container. Putting the ball of yarn in allows it to feed through the top very conveniently. Works like a charm!

Thursday, August 28, 2008


Today was a day of food firsts for me. I had breakfast at Breadsmith. I had a French Batard (to die for) and bought a chocolate chip cookie. I'll be trying that here soon! And they also let me try a slice of a chocolate bread with chocolate chips. I think that's a heavenly chorus I hear!

Then, I went to Johnny Carino's for lunch. I had the angel hair with artichoke hearts. There were also black olives, capers, and roma tomatoes. So, so good. I will most definitely go back.

Then, we found a little hole in the wall place called The Cookie Jar where I bought a 7 layer bar and got the munchkin this cookie and got the hubby a double chocolate chip cookie frosted with chocolate frosting. Seriously great food day!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

One nostril and and install

Today I'm left with one nostril functioning. You've all been there. You're certain you could breathe if only...if only...that whole nasal cavity would clear out. OK, so maybe it's silly, but deny that you've thought the very same thing.

Tomorrow I head to an install of one of our displays less than an hour away. It should be interesting because it will be an indoor installation. I've never seen one before. Plus, I'll be eating lunch at a restaurant I've never eaten at before.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I just love Audrey Hepburn.

Add it to your list

Apparently you shouldn't buy cold medicine while under the influence of other cold medicine. Thanks to the munchkin for sharing her cold with me. I'm now living in the medicated haze that only the "common" cold can produce. Really, I'm not doing so poorly, but I am losing my voice. (No comments from the peanut gallery on that one!) But I did try to buy some more Thera Flu and failed miserably. I've found that the sore throat stuff with the apple cinnamon flavor is slightly palatable.

However, this is what I inadvertantly bought.

And it tastes horrible. Oh well. There are only six packets. It won't last long. And seriously, take a look at the packaging. Not fair. Do they really think that those of us suffering from colds will even notice the difference?

I did buy some of this Yogi Tea. Haven't tried it yet, but that will be a treat for later tonight after the munchkin goes to bed. Me, tea, a book. I also want to try the Honey Lemon Throat Comfort and several of the mind teas. I love tea. It's so comforting. I really need to start drinking it more.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Book and a beach

Here's the Season 2 Promo from one of my favorite shows, Burn Notice. It's set in Miami. Now tell me, who wouldn't want to take a book and sit on that beach? I'll take a secluded section of that beach, my book, and Paco the drink boy bringing me fruity drinks with umbrellas in them. Maybe if I close my eyes...


It's been a crazy weekend. We are preparing for new flooring going into the kitchen/dining room, laundry room, and front entryway. With that in mind, it's been a mass of, "Where are we going to move this? Out on the deck? Nope, can't do that. They're putting the indoor/outdoor carpeting out there. OK, let's move this here, and this here, and we'll put the fridge in the living room..."

I wish I were kidding. I currently have a table on the bed in the spare bedroom, a baker's rack in the hallway, and there will soon be a washer, dryer, and stove on the front porch. The dining room table will reside in the living room, along with the chairs, and the fridge will indeed be in the living room until the kitchen floor is done. Heck, we might like it so much that we'll decide to leave it there.

I've been working on that double crocheted blue afghan. I'm hoping to finish the first skein (a 1 lb. skein. Those of you that crochet know that's over twice the size of a large skein.) today so that I can feel some sense of accomplishment. I've also been reading David Copperfield and have promised myself that I'll finish up to page 350 before beginning book 3 of the Edward and Bella story. It's been hard to resist.

Work is as busy as ever. Right now I'm working hard just to keep my head above water. But, having lots of projects to work on keeps me busy and keeps my mind off of other things that have been worrying me. So, I'm not complaining. Besides, job security is never a bad thing. And I do love my job.

Need a laugh?

You've got to check this blog out. No, seriously. Click now!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Great shirt

This will give away how I'll be voting in November, but what the heck. I totally want one of these! I'd wear my shirt proudly.

New books

For those of you interested, you can check here for the books that my book group chose for the next 6 months.

There's some interesting stuff in there. A book about a 300+ pound man who hopes to become the dominican J.R.R. Tolkein, one about a group of people on an RV pilgrimage, post-apocolyptic journeys, and just some other stuff that I'm not so sure of yet. Should be an interesting 6 months. I just hope my first book arrives soon!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Picking books

WOOHOO! Book group tonight. And we're picking new books. I can't wait. I'll report back on what we pick.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Ernest Borgnine

Well, someone finally admitted it...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Holes in the ears

Two nights after getting the gold acupuncture things in my ears, one of them fell out. After looking at it, I took the rest out. I'll try to post some pictures. They're the size of a pencil lead and SHARP. No way was I letting the munchkin find one.

Something I want to try

My daycare provider had this sitting out at her house and I couldn't help but ask to take a look. I fell in love with it. I'm going to have to try and do something like it. The base of it is just brown, paper lunch sacks, folded in half and stitched together. From there, I know I can re-create the effect. The tags (I showed both the front and the back) are tucked into the openings of the bags. LOVE IT!

As long as it's going the other way...

Munchkin girl met her first playful kitten tonight. According to her, that would be "kinnen". First she really wanted to play with it and love it. However, once it began stalking her and pouncing, she wasn't so enamored. From then on, she was saying, "Go, kinnen, go!" and pointing away from herself. But every move that kitten made was of interest to her. If I had to get out my crystal ball, I'd say I see allergy medication for the hubby in the future.




Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Barely awake

Just wanted any of you that still read this to know that there is much about which I wish to post. I'm just too darn tired to do it tonight. Must have hit a slump. The good news is, it's a happy slump. Yes, dear readers, I am happy and content. What a great day to be alive. Heck, the whole week is pretty fantabulous.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Things popping in my head

I don't know what made me think of this today, but I've always been fascinated by amber. How lovely is this?

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Stupid ear things

All those stupid acupuncture ear studs are still holding their places. Frankly, I was really hoping they would have fallen out by now. They're annoying. And I had a mild migraine last night. So I'm not really sure they're working. Why am I so bothered by these?

Edward and Bella

My girlfriend, Tiffany, is in trouble.

Remember, this is the year of finishing David Copperfield. Well, just as I was beginning this project, Tiffany introduced me to Edward and Bella. I'm hooked.

I'm halfway through the second of four books. Argh.

Must. Read. Each. One.

Who am I kidding. I have to own them too. :(

Much snoring tonight

A great weekend, if not a restful weekend.

Started out by heading to the local farmer's market with Mom. Bought the ever-important sweet corn from the wonderful local sweet corn growers. Unfortunately, they were out of Yukon Gold potatoes. I bought a bag from them last week and boiled and mashed them...much to the hubby's delight. I believe his words were...well, there were no words. He was too busy eating to say much of anything.

Did find some delicious taters at the grocery store. Cooked and mashed again. Received multiple accolades again. This time the words were, "You're really becoming a pro."

Along the way mom and I hit several garage sales. At the last one, we found the most wonderful thing. We found a complete set of what I call "Sound Box" books. They've been renamed, but they're still what I remember. These are the books that I learned to read on. I guess I went a little crazy. I bought the whole set. And I was thrilled about it. Big grin. Big, BIG grin. I'll post pictures when I get a chance.

Today was a trip to my nephew's baptism. The munchkin was wonderful. There were all kinds of kids there for her to play with. She was well-behaved and happy. I couldn't ask for more.

Stopped at Sonic on the way home. Had a very yummy strawberry limeade. All in all, I loved this weekend. But now, can I have a weekend to recover from my weekend? :)

Friday, August 8, 2008

New piercings

I got my ears pierced in several new places today. Here's a picture of what my ear looks like right now. The other ear looks the same.

No, this is not a new fashion statement. I now have four of these teeny gold studs in each ear until they fall out. (The one you can't see is in the top of my ear.) This is the latest form of acupuncture we're trying. I've been trying to do some research on it, but haven't found much. Maybe I'm just using the wrong search terms.

Insertion was painful, and they're still very tender right now. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but I'll let you know how the weekend goes. In the meantime, wish me luck. Who knows when and where one might choose to fall out!

Here's an article I found that mentions it. Pretty interesting actually!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Relaxing day

We got a phone call early this morning that daycare was closed because Sherrie was sick. Because hubby was sick and our backup took a part-time job, I stayed home. We bummed around for a while. Around 11 we took a walk. The neighborhood was very quiet. We walked for about half an hour, came home, ate lunch, took a nap, and got some more stuff done around the house.

Tonight, we went to dinner with mom and dad. Munchkin decided my sweet potato fries were much better than her regular fries. I agree. So she ate most of mine. It was a good day.

Hubby's in bed because he's still not feeling well. I'll be hitting the hay soon myself. It's going to be a busy day tomorrow.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Which one?

I think we may need to work a little more with the munchkin on fruit and vegetable identification.

At the grocery store tonight, the woman behind us in line put a whole watermelon on the counter. Right away the munchkin piped up with, "BROCCOLI!"

Well, they're both green...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Amazing quote

Propping herself up on one elbow, she said, "It's funny. When you leave your home and wander really far, you always think, 'I want to go home.' But then you come home, and of course it's not the same. You can't live with it, you can't live away from it. And it seems like from then on there's always this yearning for some place that doesn't exist. I felt that. Still do. I'm never completely at home anywhere. But it's a good place to be, I think. It's like floating. From up above, you can see everything at once. It's the only way how." (pg. 315)

This comes from a book I just finished reading, Caucasia. It was a really good book, even though I found it difficult to relate. It's the story of a bi-racial girl coming of age.

Something about this quote really touched me. I wish I could explain it.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


You're all going to have to use your imagination a little bit on this one.

With the hubby out of town I decided it was the perfect time to wash his pillows. That way, even if they took forever to dry, no one was put out.

However, I didn't take into account that these stupid pillows had some sort of plastic type coating on them. The first one out of the washing machine didn't seem to soak up too much water. I did have to squeeze it out a bit, but nothing too serious.

The second one was a different story. I'm not kidding you, I bet this one soaked up 4 gallons of water. I didn't measure, but that's about how much I'm estimating I squeezed out.

Yes, squeezed.

This is the part that may require your imagination.

I took that second pillow out on the deck and let it sit in the sun for at least an hour. When I went out to get it, I picked it up and felt water sloshing around inside it. Yes, it was still holding TONS of water. At this point I hung it over the edge of the deck so the water could drip out. And it kind of did. But not really. So I had to take the corners and act as if I were milking a cow. I milked a pillow. It was really strange. But, if we ever move to a farm, I guess I'm prepared.

New project

You may or may not have noticed that I've added a new progress bar over on the right. I've decided to make it my goal this year to finally finish reading David Copperfield. It's 729 pages of Dickens. It's not that it's not interesting, it's just that I always seem to find something more interesting to read. So, once I finish Caucasia it's on to Dickens. Wish me luck.

I'm going to try to make you understand

I'm a tech writer. A lot of you don't get how I could possibly do this all day, 40 hours a week, for the rest of my life. But here's my attempt to make you understand.

How Tech Writing Is Like a Puzzle

I don't know how some of you do puzzles, but here's how I do one. First, I sort through all the pieces and pick out anything that forms the edge of the puzzle. The edge has to go together first.

Once that's done, I dig through the remaining pieces to find the pieces that form the large portions of the puzzle. You know, if it's a landscape with a lighthouse, you put the lighthouse together first and try to forget that half of the puzzle is sky!

Once anything that forms the easily put together portions is done, then you have to begin sorting through all that sky and putting it in piles based on minute variances in shading. Only then can you put the sky together.

The final step is putting the sealer on the puzzle and hanging it.

I put a manual together the same way.

First I find another manual that resembles what I'm trying to create. That's the edge. Then I sort through the information I have and fill in any major illustrations or instructions that need to be replaced. That part is the lighthouse. Once that's done, I have to tackle the tough part of the manual...all the information that I need to chase after people and sit on them to get. That and editing are the sky. The final step of a manual is printing to PDF and uploading it to our system. That would be the sealer. Actually seeing it on the system is like looking at it hanging on the wall.
Does that explain it?

Another one that gets me

This makes me laugh too. When Big says that "It might be worse under there." and then she runs into the door, I bust a gut. You really only need to watch that far.

Dark Chocolate

Don't know why, but this makes me giggle every time I see it!

Friday, July 25, 2008

New link

I added a new link to my list of fun links. Check it out and see how nerdy I am now! I'm a card-carrying member!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


Kim and family...

I haven't forgotten you. You will make the blog. It's just been a little hectic around here.

Too easy to resist

I've been taken over by the machine that is big business.

Tonight munchkin and I made a Wal-Mart run. We needed a few things around the house and I had to return an iPod arm band that I had bought.

We walked into the store, just like we usually do. But this time, I happened to look at our reflections in the window on the way in. We were both, head to toe, dressed in Wal-Mart's finest.

Shirts, pants/shorts, shoes. Every single bit of it was purchased at, and helped to line, Wal-Mart's pocket.

I guess I could say that we don't have a lot of other shopping options here. And we don't. And it's not that I think I'm too good for Wal-Mart stuff. But it really does bother me a little that Wal-Mart makes so much money and pays their staff so little. I used to work there. I know. And from what I hear, the benefits are atrocious. I hear way too many stories of people being scheduled just under 40 hours so Wal-Mart doesn't have to pay for benefits.

I played a role in all those people getting less than they deserve.

If we didn't shop there, big businesses couldn't do this to their employees. But, with gas prices the way they are, convenience wins out. Besides, do I really want to pay a bunch of money for clothes that the munchkin is either going to ruin or grow out of in 3 months? Nope. So, watch me pull out my money and support the biggest of all mega-marts.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Round and round

Took the munchkin to Wal-Mart tonight. Mom came along. After we checked out, we took the little girl over to the game room. She had been begging to go "round and round". So, I fed the merry-go-round the necessary two quarters. The music started, the horses whirled, and the face lit up. "WHEE!" She actually said, "Whee!"

And I was struck by how we all go around and around. We all have our moments with our children. Some moments we're on top of the world. Some we're down as far as we can be. But eventually we all come back around to where we started.

I'll go around as many times as it takes. This is one wild ride, but I know that it all comes around to the right side.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Obscene spending

We're going to make some major improvements to our home. First, we're putting up a brand new vinyl fence exactly like the one shown above. Then, there's going to be a brand new vinyl deck. Then some major landscaping in the backyard. And the piece the hubby is most excited about...fancy new garage doors that he's been wanting for two years. It's going to be kind of wild around here for a couple of months. I'll post pictures as we see progress.